Thanks Dylan! I think Hayley has a great voice so thats really cool. I wrote the bridge to Foolish Resentment first, love it so much decided to write a song around it, haha. I might re-do that one soon. I re-recorded Yesterday's Remains to how I originally wrote/sang it, and I think its a lot better, always go with your first instinct..haha
I've had a few people ask me to do open mics, I just never got around to it, hopefully one day :)
HLMmusic
- Heather
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Re: HLMmusic ("Devil In You")
It's the devil in you, that makes you do what you do
It's the devil in you, that makes you do what you do
And you can't pretend that you don't understand
No you can't pretend that you don't understand
you don't understand
And you search til you find
All the truths you left behind
Now you're lost, and wasting time
When nothing will ease your mind
Chorus
All the doubts that you drown
Secretly you fear living without
Liek the words you can't keep down
That sting coming out your mouth
Chorus
And we all have two sides
And I am loosing the light
Chorus
It's the devil in you, that makes you do what you do
And you can't pretend that you don't understand
No you can't pretend that you don't understand
you don't understand
And you search til you find
All the truths you left behind
Now you're lost, and wasting time
When nothing will ease your mind
Chorus
All the doubts that you drown
Secretly you fear living without
Liek the words you can't keep down
That sting coming out your mouth
Chorus
And we all have two sides
And I am loosing the light
Chorus
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Re: HLMmusic ("Devil In You")
i like it.i think its really good.It sounds like a mix between avril lavigne and paramore. keep it up !
- Heather
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Re: HLMmusic ("Devil In You")
Thanks! I appreciate the feedback. It was a quick song to write, and I really like it for some reason.
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Re: HLMmusic ("Devil In You")
Another good song Heather. I felt this one was too repetitive for my tastes. either the verses were too short or the chorus too long, but the way the words are structured it seems that the whole thing is one big chorus with a few repeated lines, save for the bridge. i think the song could benefit from a few rearrangements. some examples i would give would be shortening the first chorus to just;
"It's the devil in you, that makes you do what you do
And you can't pretend that you don't understand"
and then maybe replace this shortened version for the second chorus as well. but you don't have to take my advice -im your producer. you said that it was really easy to write, and its important that the spontaneity of the song doesn't get lost but i think with some rearrangement this song could go from good to great.
Cheers.
EDIT: oh yeah, and theres that pause after "It's the devil in you" part of the first line... i think it'd be cool for final choruses to have that line repeat kinda in the background as a harmony. thats pretty much impossible for you to do in one take, but if you ever record this song with overdubs that could sound cool.
"It's the devil in you, that makes you do what you do
And you can't pretend that you don't understand"
and then maybe replace this shortened version for the second chorus as well. but you don't have to take my advice -im your producer. you said that it was really easy to write, and its important that the spontaneity of the song doesn't get lost but i think with some rearrangement this song could go from good to great.
Cheers.
EDIT: oh yeah, and theres that pause after "It's the devil in you" part of the first line... i think it'd be cool for final choruses to have that line repeat kinda in the background as a harmony. thats pretty much impossible for you to do in one take, but if you ever record this song with overdubs that could sound cool.
Last edited by Dylan on Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"The missing part of me that grows around me like a cage..."
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- Heather
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Re: HLMmusic ("Devil In You")
Thanks for the feedback Dylan. I usually hate songs that repeat the chorus over and over, but I think I just enjoyed singing it so much I kept going with it lol. I pretty much wrote it in like 10 min and recorded it the next day, but I've been playing around with it since then. I'd love to do harmonies and guitar melodies in my songs one day.
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- Heather
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Re: HLMmusic ("Act Natural")
I am the one in the corner
Sitting so honestly boring
With nothing to say I'm ignoring
All the thoughts that are stirring
Cause words would just stumble and fall
Out of my mouth like I don't own them at all
But you never heard it from me
I am a figment of everything
No grip on this reality
So just go on acting naturally
I am the one in the dark
A misinterpreted work of art
I painted myself inside the box
But boundaries only make me feel lost
So I'm waiting for that illusive spark
To flow through my veins and recharge my heart
But you never heard it from me
I am a figment of everything
No grip on this reality
So just go on acting naturally
A loss of control hiding deep below
No room for my voice to echo
It's easier to say I don't know
Than chase the genius that comes and goes
Sitting so honestly boring
With nothing to say I'm ignoring
All the thoughts that are stirring
Cause words would just stumble and fall
Out of my mouth like I don't own them at all
But you never heard it from me
I am a figment of everything
No grip on this reality
So just go on acting naturally
I am the one in the dark
A misinterpreted work of art
I painted myself inside the box
But boundaries only make me feel lost
So I'm waiting for that illusive spark
To flow through my veins and recharge my heart
But you never heard it from me
I am a figment of everything
No grip on this reality
So just go on acting naturally
A loss of control hiding deep below
No room for my voice to echo
It's easier to say I don't know
Than chase the genius that comes and goes
![Image](http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3788/12214634583_2c8b4d498b_o.jpg)
- silverdolphin
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Re: HLMmusic ("Act Natural")
Great vocals and lyrics! I can really relate to this. I really enjoyed the verses. At first, I didn't like the chorus; it felt like a letdown. Two listens later, that feeling changed and I can honestly say that I enjoy it. Keep up the good work!
- Hoocher
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Re: HLMmusic ("Act Natural")
Great song! lyrically and vocally. You're really talented, keep up the good work!
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- Heather
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Re: HLMmusic ("Act Natural")
Thank You! The chorus is basically about saying everything on your mind and no one paying attention, they just walk on by acting naturally like nothing's going on.silverdolphin wrote:Great vocals and lyrics! I can really relate to this. I really enjoyed the verses. At first, I didn't like the chorus; it felt like a letdown. Two listens later, that feeling changed and I can honestly say that I enjoy it. Keep up the good work!
Thank You, really appreciate the listen and feedbackHoocher wrote:Great song! lyrically and vocally. You're really talented, keep up the good work!
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- Heather
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Re: HLMmusic ("Safe Haven For Complaining")
A safe haven for complaining
That's all I'll ever want
So I can speak my mind without any cost
Let go my inhabitions
Goodbye to bad decisions
Break down communication
And watch me waste away
I can't explain it anymore, what am I holding on for?
That little piece of me remains incomplete
One stitch from unraveled
Don't tell me pick my battles, at any moment I see denying me
A better way to accept this
That's all I'll ever need
With more time to regret it and less uncertainty
Whispers behind my shoulder
Time's up my reign is over
Flame-less fire get's colder
Now watch me burn away
Chorus
When I'm at the point of pointless
And I have lost all of my focus
I'm still standing my ground
SO when I'm out of dumb excuses
Dried up all my useless uses
I'm still hanging around
Chorus
That's all I'll ever want
So I can speak my mind without any cost
Let go my inhabitions
Goodbye to bad decisions
Break down communication
And watch me waste away
I can't explain it anymore, what am I holding on for?
That little piece of me remains incomplete
One stitch from unraveled
Don't tell me pick my battles, at any moment I see denying me
A better way to accept this
That's all I'll ever need
With more time to regret it and less uncertainty
Whispers behind my shoulder
Time's up my reign is over
Flame-less fire get's colder
Now watch me burn away
Chorus
When I'm at the point of pointless
And I have lost all of my focus
I'm still standing my ground
SO when I'm out of dumb excuses
Dried up all my useless uses
I'm still hanging around
Chorus
![Image](http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3788/12214634583_2c8b4d498b_o.jpg)
- Heather
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Re: HLMmusic ("Void of Nonsense")
I'm hurting my own feelings
I'm pulling my own strings
I am a puppet of my own tragic beliefs
Turn my solutions into a tangled mess
Why can't I just put this wake up call back to rest
The space you gave me is the void I filled with my nonsense
The road I tore through is the way you paved in my namesake
The door you opened is the door I slammed right in your face
The bridge I burned down is the bridge you built with your helping hands
I'm wasting my own time
I'm bluffing my own sense of pride
Fueled by the shallow thoughts that have kept me alive
So find me behind the curtain, the voice inside my head
But just don't listen to a single word that I've said
Chorus
For every grenade I threw, each pin has been pulled
Now I'm falling apart
Here in your arms.
I'm pulling my own strings
I am a puppet of my own tragic beliefs
Turn my solutions into a tangled mess
Why can't I just put this wake up call back to rest
The space you gave me is the void I filled with my nonsense
The road I tore through is the way you paved in my namesake
The door you opened is the door I slammed right in your face
The bridge I burned down is the bridge you built with your helping hands
I'm wasting my own time
I'm bluffing my own sense of pride
Fueled by the shallow thoughts that have kept me alive
So find me behind the curtain, the voice inside my head
But just don't listen to a single word that I've said
Chorus
For every grenade I threw, each pin has been pulled
Now I'm falling apart
Here in your arms.
![Image](http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3788/12214634583_2c8b4d498b_o.jpg)
- Stef
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Safe Haven for Complaining is a really decent song. Love the tempo and also the "Don't tell me pick my battles" part. You do a nice 'shout' their.
Void of nonsense is a song I don't like.. Maybe it would grow on me, but it misses a few things (piano?, strings perhaps?)
Again is a decent radio hit is think. Make me think of the fray/pray/sray - how to save a life. It has nothing to do with each other, but it like the same atmosphere
Void of nonsense is a song I don't like.. Maybe it would grow on me, but it misses a few things (piano?, strings perhaps?)
Again is a decent radio hit is think. Make me think of the fray/pray/sray - how to save a life. It has nothing to do with each other, but it like the same atmosphere
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Some days it just gets so hard
And I don’t wanna slip away.